I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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