Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Can i not drive my cunt home
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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