I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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