I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
