I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
