What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
