It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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