Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
