She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
