And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
