I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is wine microwaveable?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
