i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
