i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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