I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
