This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
