3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
