I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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