I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
