i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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