Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
