Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
