honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
