He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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