Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
