I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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