it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
