I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
