If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
