I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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