So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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