At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
