Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
