and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
