Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
