I'm going to jail i love you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
