I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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