i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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