you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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