ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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