so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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