I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
