i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
