so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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