can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
