I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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