Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
