I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
