I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
