After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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