How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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